I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
