WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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