Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
sarcasm needs its own font
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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