Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
