We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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