question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize