every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She announced her abortion via fbk
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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