So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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