Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
