You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
