Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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