so that wasnt chicken after all
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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