its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize