hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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