I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize