Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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