Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My penis needs a shock collar
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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