I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
