I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
