guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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