You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
