Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize