hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I touched a dick in church today
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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