Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
