Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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