We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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