Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
