new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
