i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i permit you to call me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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