so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
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