we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize