Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize