All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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