This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
