Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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