HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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