There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
