so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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