Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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