I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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