Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me http://tfl.nu/bq34
  Replies (20) Good night (1301) Bad night (4575)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube http://tfl.nu/f16y
  Replies (4) Good night (1118) Bad night (2922)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex. http://tfl.nu/m5l5
  Replies (11) Good night (958) Bad night (3752)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility http://tfl.nu/kdjh
  Replies (11) Good night (3408) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things. http://tfl.nu/x5j7
  Replies (3) Good night (3838) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now? http://tfl.nu/s9tm
  Replies (11) Good night (4128) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool. http://tfl.nu/kmsc
  Replies (5) Good night (1814) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed. http://tfl.nu/fgrh
  Replies (7) Good night (1461) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics http://tfl.nu/qir9
  Replies (4) Good night (1029) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka http://tfl.nu/793g
  Replies (4) Good night (619) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off. http://tfl.nu/u9dg
  Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball http://tfl.nu/dyfa
  Replies (1) Good night (465) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Just pee around me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Just pee around me http://tfl.nu/21pc
  Replies (6) Good night (359) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity. (224): That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/buw1
  Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is http://tfl.nu/a8vb
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (281)

Randomize