I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?