What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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