Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls? http://tfl.nu/pg74
  Replies (9) Good night (934) Bad night (1574)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management. http://tfl.nu/afuw
  Replies (16) Good night (4855) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  No. It just means your good at giving head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head? (1-605): No. It just means your good at giving head. http://tfl.nu/6xkt
  Replies (22) Good night (4194) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues". http://tfl.nu/ykd9
  Replies (13) Good night (3079) Bad night (1950)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up http://tfl.nu/adeo
  Replies (35) Good night (7731) Bad night (1292)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this? http://tfl.nu/8b98
  Replies (7) Good night (2550) Bad night (1603)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out. http://tfl.nu/306z
  Replies (6) Good night (2510) Bad night (1442)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this http://tfl.nu/doar
  Replies (5) Good night (2224) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic http://tfl.nu/g9j9
  Replies (4) Good night (1473) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving. http://tfl.nu/a5h0
  Replies (8) Good night (724) Bad night (1386)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody. http://tfl.nu/us3z
  Replies (5) Good night (747) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man http://tfl.nu/dtih
  Replies (7) Good night (671) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth. (402): Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering. http://tfl.nu/qwlh
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER http://tfl.nu/jvi1
  Replies (1) Good night (755) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): I asked to see his balls for medical purposes. http://tfl.nu/5we7
  Replies (3) Good night (327) Bad night (171)

Randomize