I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
