The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There r osticjed everywhere
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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