After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
