census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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