So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We're too hungover to prance.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize