finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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