I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
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