piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Four minutes until I can fart!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize