I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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