meet me or not, i'm out of control
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Still dying that you shit outside
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
