i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
