I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
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I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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