does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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