I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
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My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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