Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
