if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
