Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
