I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
