Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
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After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
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I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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