Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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